My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize