Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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