Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
