I just pynch a tree in the face
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
