Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
