real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
