He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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