glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
