We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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