i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
