You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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