bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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