My nipple is on Facebook.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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