I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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