what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
