return my video game
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
