just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, beer. Big fan.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
