are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
