Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
