are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
