Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
should my penis look like a turkey
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
