Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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