even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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