Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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