Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
