On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize