Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
