there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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