I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
