i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
