Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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