she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
now i know why i became what i already was.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
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NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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