Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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