I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
