i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
