omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
