Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize