i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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