i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
