he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
People with herpes should wear stickers.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
