i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
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I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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