god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize