i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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