I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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