dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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