I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
