There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
