need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wish you could order shots online.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
