u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
