I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
