she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im calling her cock vulture from now on
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize