my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
