I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
