That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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