From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
