I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
