Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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