There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize